新手报告帖
"A new poll found that 41 percent of Americans don’t know who the Vice President is. In reponse,Joe Biden was like, "All right, at least give me a hint." –Jimmy Fallon最新调查显示41%的美国人不知道副总统是谁。拜登对此表示：至少得给个提示吧？
"Rahm Emanuel is leaving the Obama administration. He wants to become mayor of Chicago. If you’re mayor of Chicago, that means you report directly to Oprah." –David Letterman
Rahm Emanuel 即将离开奥巴马的政治班子，去竞选芝加哥市长。如果成功的话，他的顶头上司是奥普拉。
"There was a very emotional send-off for Rahm Emanuel at the White House on Friday morning. Rahm Emanuel cried because he’s leaving the White House, and President Obama cried because he’s still there." –Jay Leno
周五早上白宫举行了非常感人的欢送Rahm Emanuel仪式。Rahm Emanuel哭了，因为他将离开白宫；奥巴马也哭了，因为他还得留在那。
"President Obama said today that education is the key to our economic turnaround. He said once Americans start getting smarter, the economy will start to improve. So you know what that means: we are screwed." –Jay Leno
奥巴马今天说教育是振兴美国经济的关键，如果美国人民都变得聪明一些，经济形势就会好转。这意味着：我们完蛋了。
"Goldman Sachs has a new ad to show what the company does. Isn’t that what the recession was for?" –Jimmy Fallon
高盛投放了一个新广告，展示公司的业务。经济衰退不就是最好的展示吗？
"Republican Senator Tom Coburn said yesterday that Christine O’Donnell, if elected, will be able to combat the stupidity in Washington. So I guess they’re going to fight fire with fire." –Jay Leno
共和党参议员Tom Coburn昨天说，如果Christine O’Donnell当选的话，能够对抗华盛顿的愚蠢。看来这是要以毒攻毒了。
"President Obama had said if the stimulus bill passed, companies like Caterpillar would hire a lot of Americans. Caterpillar has announced that they are hiring hundreds of workers, in China. And if you call the White House to complain, you get the hotline in India." –Jay Leno
奥巴马说，如果经济刺激法案通过的话，像Caterpillar这种公司将雇佣更多的美国工人，不过Caterpillar刚刚宣布将在中国招聘几百名工人。你要是打电话去投诉的话，接线员是印度的（美国很多服务热线外包给印度）。
"The White House has issued an alert for American tourists traveling in Europe over fears of a terror attack. But the joke’s on you, terrorists. We can’t afford to go to Europe." –Jimmy Fallon
白宫发布欧洲旅行警报，有可能会有恐怖袭击。恐怖分子你们被耍了，美国人民已经没有钱去欧洲了。
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