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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"6 a- c; z) k4 K( S0 x9 ]/ t
From the female side.
. b: ]. s5 b1 @6 K# F1 {Now here are the rules from the male side.
; ~ d' R M' ]2 f3 Q. R7 q, jThese are our rules!0 y, O" K Y# r6 d( V, g: n
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
6 T$ S7 s/ ~$ J7 l; qON PURPOSE!
d# m7 r9 b4 y% d; z5 w; L1. Men ARE not mind readers. H- Y* F6 ] P `1 H* j) c
6 K, L) I( u* ^5 N: @1. Learn to work the toilet seat.' T: e8 ?4 a: I# A+ X& ?
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
0 @/ W# G+ W# H: }0 aWe need it up, you need it down.. S6 w' e: e2 Y: B4 L) m) H
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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" a+ y C/ |) _# w1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon- o' V, b4 p$ q1 b6 J0 L( b* A
or the changing of the tides.9 j r4 {* T' p8 J
Let it be.
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.( V" b% a; R0 p5 \% S d
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.) R3 ^' G% X& p6 ?/ O/ {, \$ ?
9 G2 U7 } D- T! w8 m9 B* D1 p1. Crying is blackmail.
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7 q! ~& k( @( ^1. Ask for what you want.$ `- A5 w9 N) a8 w9 L2 D! v6 a! n
Let us be clear on this one:
( E* h0 ^8 M) k. YSubtle hints do not work!
3 \5 T8 |2 `% xStrong hints do not work!, m3 e+ o7 k. p
Obvious hints do not work!
$ U, {! p6 [4 z9 W* V4 L: d* hJust say it!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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, b( b9 s) K. R4 Z3 x- f' v1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. n1 ~* @% l$ f$ Z: p2 Z
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.: l2 \+ x$ A# C, `4 B0 V$ V7 L
3 S) L+ N+ l7 K, e9 X1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.8 j7 J: w: }; G8 L
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.$ h. r, f* q1 n5 ?* j$ N
7 g; E M; s; |7 W/ m* N( Q& ?1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
" i( a' X: q+ Q# O$ TDon't ask us.
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# a m/ l9 W; ^1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..6 p% [9 Y4 v5 f: H
" R; ~4 S) \8 p/ T* d: ^. s1. You can either ask us to do something
' q# ]. V& J3 s/ V( XOr tell us how you want it done./ h# [! K# Y' ~
Not both.
' s! x0 E% Q' z- `0 j0 Y9 aIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. y* t& x6 d0 t4 F8 G4 ~
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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; J& V& F8 s% D' x& z; f% v1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.0 G. y) X$ x4 j, a T, {# j M
6 i( C1 e) M. ~5 q V1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
4 U- E- o- j4 J8 s7 [2 T- YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
. I& M A! }% mWe do that.3 Z0 y" N5 n! a& i1 s* B
8 a- H# W# U. Q9 e0 o+ @( k% E1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
2 u% D7 ]9 f2 B! ]1 v! f) E2 TWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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; k& Q7 S1 u+ f0 p3 a1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.! i9 v( j" U* o$ t3 D9 a
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
J! K6 C, a$ R2 x) }0 g! x) Dor golf.
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3 ~; \ L, n0 l9 r1. You have enough clothes. j; f* [( K7 M" s, r
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1. You have too many shoes./ w5 T* u e" H4 L
( T6 v/ ~# m- {1 Q* p# X1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!; W t5 E d3 ^
( u/ Y) n* n2 n; n) e1. Thank you for reading this.
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But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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