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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"0 h8 L/ M+ P) z+ T% x7 ^2 f
From the female side.( j6 h ~; k4 h3 B$ C; H* M
Now here are the rules from the male side. e( S4 h% U4 i# r) h; q% Y" I
These are our rules!
% O8 ?( G' d- @% w aPlease note.. these are all numbered "1", U$ v3 D& x+ A
ON PURPOSE!
+ j9 E+ y% d, C# M) x4 L( v4 U1. Men ARE not mind readers.9 d' H; C1 d3 `8 d9 ?- F% p
5 [: l# e4 i1 a1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
, ^* j. ]: E9 z/ c' qYou're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.& C+ t; U* X- u5 k3 [
We need it up, you need it down.1 M0 y/ Y4 D6 }
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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) t1 I3 F- E+ |( p3 k5 d7 H6 B, [* @1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon5 a0 [; f( z7 z9 G
or the changing of the tides.* R3 `4 v: q9 n/ G' @- R9 v
Let it be.1 n5 ^& B, i4 X1 x, ^5 f
" {, [2 o/ H+ P, n- h' R0 ~$ N1. Shopping is NOT a sport.! {* x& s7 J' F& q7 m+ ]* ?/ P3 G6 E
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.2 }* h* }8 P: B* E; l4 ]
. ~5 L4 }3 ^. _# h1. Crying is blackmail.) l: v7 K6 E: O) d
, e% t4 B6 R2 B9 M; i' O# Y1. Ask for what you want.
6 S" E) i u' _' B) z8 m) x% SLet us be clear on this one:
3 h1 F% K' M+ Q# U3 `/ u. V. f: p* W: {Subtle hints do not work!8 C* o* U7 _0 s# q& T; |
Strong hints do not work!
3 f* g" n) v, P; ~6 [# E' @6 R; F0 CObvious hints do not work!& V0 T9 L: u2 f4 U4 l3 j' h" i: O
Just say it!8 Y9 j3 d7 w" k4 z; H
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question., n& S4 ^2 ^* Y
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
% W8 e3 g7 L2 G! | Q! V' c' F( `6 vSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.: G7 |$ n# d2 n0 g5 D% S, g
7 _& R0 B# w, v4 `" C1 ^3 Y3 W6 _1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. u0 ^, Z8 M% A% N
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.# B# R6 |2 C$ s, U) e# ?
* ~/ r, z: i7 V& v" [1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
9 _) U2 Z; S+ Z3 w9 k* W6 jDon't ask us.
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something
% E) C% b5 W0 x$ fOr tell us how you want it done." E2 G2 X; U9 U' W G9 F' C
Not both.+ d% _4 y6 ? x' ]
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.$ V$ L J; c2 `! A/ M
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
' q! C* w' A8 F1 n. D5 k+ @1 LPeach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.& b. H/ L% @9 X+ D8 V
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
6 \+ H0 m4 r& ]& }0 X5 ZWe do that.& Z& O( T, ^2 \7 m, w2 w5 }
$ W9 ~' s; x0 ~: ]5 m, m, @. ~; w1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.2 i' H6 |/ W1 p
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! c* V* ] O6 z* ~2 N5 f
; g5 J" S* e' C% ?) u. \% z- A1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.8 Q, w$ i+ d( m& m% s! x7 ~
! V$ E9 Y; W D3 O% v1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,/ O. _% q$ o1 J" ]1 P+ c
or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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7 F+ m b) m6 @4 V) [1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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$ a- G3 ]- k3 {3 g1. Thank you for reading this.; ~6 R$ o3 x3 J
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% y! W& B0 \8 r s" X$ s8 D# YBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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