还是英语笑话，开心一笑吧。

哥顿国际英语

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) k, ~- t6 V1 I. \$ A9 m+ SBut the teacher cried
　　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
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" `* D1 a' Z6 K5 N　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

* _  Y+ C: w: D　　可是老师哭了
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; b8 u! n+ u  X$ Q　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
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7 r% b8 F, g9 g　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

　　“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
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鸡过河
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    thief小偷stole偷了一只鸡,正在river河边给鸡拔feathers毛,这时一个policeman警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡threw扔到了river里.
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    policeman问:"你在doing干什么?river里是what什么东西?"
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    thief说:"那是一只鸡,它要cross过河去,我在这里帮它watching看衣服."
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    老李sat坐在家门口乘cool凉,看着freeway高速公路从village村里的field田里穿过,气势spectacular壮观. 一会他看见开过来一辆lorry车,在freeway边停下, 下来一个人,在freeway边dug挖了一个hole坑,然后回到车里. 过了a while一会,车上下来另一个人,把hole又填上了. 车子向前走了一段distance距离,那个人又下来dug了个hole,过一会,又是另一个人把hole填上,就这样,车子每走一段distance,就重复一次dug a hole,休息,填hole……老李十分puzzled迷惑. 他忍不住跑过去问道:"你们在doing什么?" 两个人answered回答道:"我们三个在carrying out进行一项绿化freeway的project计划,今天responsible for负责栽树的那人fell ill病了!"

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?


. E0 [8 ^. |7 S7 ]9 M  _) R7 xA: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

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猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
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Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?


, e3 I0 c/ l! g  k  MA: By treading on his corn?
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如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
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8 Y2 d% u9 m% w# [4 j$ f2 IQ: Which is the strongest creature in the world?


A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

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+ n. Q% k9 e$ ~, H" {+ ?- _6 B- E5 f4 V因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
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   存钱
7 \/ L, T/ i( i2 y1 @# a    姐姐在bank银行里works工作。一天，有个young年轻男人走到她的counter柜台前，悄voice声对她说：「请你把这一千块钱存入我的account户头。」她照办之後，也悄声answered说「这是你的bankbook存折，goodbye再见。」那young 人开始转身离去，但随即又折回来。「我很sorry抱歉我们得悄voice声说话，」他说，「不过，我的car汽车就停在外面，要是它听到我有extra余钱，它会又出毛病了。」他把finger手指放在lips嘴唇上，踮著tiptoes脚尖走出bank。

哥顿国际英语