还是英语笑话，开心一笑吧。

哥顿国际英语

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4 A' D1 R" Z/ S! W% sBut the teacher cried
* m, N0 p- _% X$ w+ e+ m( Y1 H　　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
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1 h6 Z; q2 ?0 ^! ^. [" Y  {% n　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

' t( i* f' f! ]　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

+ t( g7 q% s" K* W　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

　　可是老师哭了
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3 J9 f- ?8 f4 ^- B　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

+ ?" A* h0 I* v; o) G# b　　“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

鸡过河
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* o+ Y( G0 c6 m) ?$ W9 V    thief小偷stole偷了一只鸡,正在river河边给鸡拔feathers毛,这时一个policeman警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡threw扔到了river里.
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' M* X6 \& _. R2 l; t) G    policeman问:"你在doing干什么?river里是what什么东西?"

    thief说:"那是一只鸡,它要cross过河去,我在这里帮它watching看衣服."

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    老李sat坐在家门口乘cool凉,看着freeway高速公路从village村里的field田里穿过,气势spectacular壮观. 一会他看见开过来一辆lorry车,在freeway边停下, 下来一个人,在freeway边dug挖了一个hole坑,然后回到车里. 过了a while一会,车上下来另一个人,把hole又填上了. 车子向前走了一段distance距离,那个人又下来dug了个hole,过一会,又是另一个人把hole填上,就这样,车子每走一段distance,就重复一次dug a hole,休息,填hole……老李十分puzzled迷惑. 他忍不住跑过去问道:"你们在doing什么?" 两个人answered回答道:"我们三个在carrying out进行一项绿化freeway的project计划,今天responsible for负责栽树的那人fell ill病了!"
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! E' a& }" H( ?; AQ: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?


$ R; C, a& b* l8 U7 G2 c) a7 L9 IA: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.


猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？


, S  M; o7 q" CQ: How can you most irritate a farmer?


A: By treading on his corn?
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如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

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6 f4 m9 Q* y; x8 T% d7 TQ: Which is the strongest creature in the world?


A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
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因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
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2 M3 n. m+ b* |0 _. o- y" t, ^% }# N   存钱
# a* m% B0 I; L' T' K* b( S    姐姐在bank银行里works工作。一天，有个young年轻男人走到她的counter柜台前，悄voice声对她说：「请你把这一千块钱存入我的account户头。」她照办之後，也悄声answered说「这是你的bankbook存折，goodbye再见。」那young 人开始转身离去，但随即又折回来。「我很sorry抱歉我们得悄voice声说话，」他说，「不过，我的car汽车就停在外面，要是它听到我有extra余钱，它会又出毛病了。」他把finger手指放在lips嘴唇上，踮著tiptoes脚尖走出bank。

哥顿国际英语