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We always hear "the rules"* X' \7 o- ?9 O5 C+ X% t
From the female side.) X" I. k$ P/ o
Now here are the rules from the male side. W8 M2 }# }" ?9 Q) U, @5 e' F3 u
These are our rules!# n1 @+ y; ?( S# |" X s
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
6 h6 H7 Y6 E4 d9 iON PURPOSE!6 T8 m% V# I8 F, p
1. Men ARE not mind readers.5 e1 _5 s$ ]* K% E9 G; m
9 q* r( L0 [7 q7 r5 t5 I1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
- V- p! G1 h; F* t6 }You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.% Z) ^! i5 O2 `9 T% G
We need it up, you need it down., ?9 q( Q8 _/ L: i
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.+ R9 u( k# n: |1 C
& V, {9 J; _9 K$ s6 I1 o" _1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon$ |' }, U$ |2 T; J! ^3 `3 z
or the changing of the tides.0 O$ X J$ O7 u3 S2 O
Let it be.
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.$ c* Y' Q+ C! c; g& l
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
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1. Crying is blackmail.* C7 c! H& \/ I% G4 }6 `, Z
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1. Ask for what you want.
3 P; K2 Y7 z+ LLet us be clear on this one:
* i8 H7 ]3 Q7 TSubtle hints do not work!
& {5 F+ N Q: e n- l2 B% C+ OStrong hints do not work!& |! @/ N! t8 U. Z; u
Obvious hints do not work!
7 z* Y" ?: c' vJust say it!7 p }1 z) {, Q# j( u
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
: t; K4 p5 u1 J; u2 jSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.: b$ W d& X d! s# U/ i/ G
, l3 a/ S1 v0 x/ K1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ e- P. O" n, }, l5 ^; [4 F7 T. xIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.7 Z0 I0 v5 X6 h- S2 D
{0 T7 m$ N; |, x1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.0 X) G& O% {! J2 [
$ g0 R- N: V1 Q1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.0 f) p% W. a. g
Don't ask us.: g) I1 @1 |$ C; A' W+ G6 ^
1 y$ x/ O* V' B" a8 \' @1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something
9 u$ `7 O) d6 ?, n1 QOr tell us how you want it done.4 V# X7 `. M) x, p# s9 @ m3 f
Not both.
5 n6 Y2 M3 F: fIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.) O- n3 Y% Y; D5 v) D
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.7 P$ N+ x- a- q d
6 V2 k1 q2 {( o$ F5 k9 H' M1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 z6 e+ ] }7 [) b* |6 g& E
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.& ]- Q0 m5 \ K
' l7 O0 i% [ S+ O* U( ?. z7 b1. If it itches, it will Be scratched./ V' L. Y- q8 B
We do that.& }# F0 @8 L# y- x( `
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.7 c% d0 L$ W/ S7 x, m
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1 n6 U) N/ F9 |0 X$ s
* v- V ?- q% E( U: n2 F% R1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.7 t0 o, v1 v5 N9 Z! |, z% z5 G
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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& J* n0 C( @3 U8 a& x( K1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,# W: ?3 C2 t; T1 r+ j, c
or golf.
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4 ~ r8 o0 _/ o. ?6 E6 U% m1. You have enough clothes.* _9 ^/ D$ a; i. e3 l
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1. You have too many shoes.! K/ V8 p. C; P0 R' M2 X
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!# `$ @, H$ B4 Q4 P) m
3 ]6 C$ A* D, i1. Thank you for reading this.
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3 ~# B y, b9 k0 g! m5 Q0 c$ YBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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