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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"
$ h: ~+ l4 M4 M+ J# F/ qFrom the female side.
1 r' k; x5 {/ s" f8 dNow here are the rules from the male side.' ]! K- h: W( _ q \7 S
These are our rules!4 n6 X: S/ N: x9 v! F) t& K
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
4 H1 v; i( b$ ^$ @: dON PURPOSE!$ K M% t& E! e4 A' C
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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* m( e$ x3 \8 ?9 C- ~) T5 `" f1. Learn to work the toilet seat.* {$ p% {! q4 `
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
' a5 j" Y/ l; {$ x% E0 \1 Y. DWe need it up, you need it down.
5 W0 T* Q W5 v3 tYou don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
# o |2 A/ I8 z) v. Nor the changing of the tides.
- n0 b# J) |1 V3 W; I! P7 fLet it be.9 E" o& r3 |7 S5 D$ ]9 C
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.% b* b V/ \6 M3 a
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.' F# X, e# ]' d# v
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1. Crying is blackmail.$ }- N6 B/ V, w- x. Z
7 D) \9 h# K9 Q9 K4 u3 ?: W1. Ask for what you want.
* ]* G+ r3 ]6 m. o& lLet us be clear on this one:) n, z) l. z3 p; t1 L: c
Subtle hints do not work!
8 X: W" P. k: X1 Y; y0 I) c+ a! sStrong hints do not work!
8 O+ m2 O, t! E! D- b4 C' G- g& i. q& uObvious hints do not work!: c. _. U) j# X6 c5 h: G, U H
Just say it!
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( C! z, ?2 w' x: K# ^0 C1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
& I5 ?4 E8 q u# t9 V" [Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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3 p: x3 a7 ]5 I# n; y2 a1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.2 j4 q: U# G6 H. A
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.5 O" D2 J% k( M- k
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
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P+ e. f" M$ C4 v& b4 H1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are./ ?& C7 C! _! r! j1 u1 S/ ]7 [9 {
Don't ask us.
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7 m" v, \4 ]! l# }! {5 b' Z1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..1 h% w$ u+ n7 p
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1. You can either ask us to do something
6 i7 y" d% m JOr tell us how you want it done.8 h% E1 K. K5 c9 s W# A7 I
Not both./ P: G& g' h6 I. L8 K0 l; M5 F2 e1 `
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.& X1 c$ B, \) \, I& t' {
& g5 L# M6 V8 M5 \; B5 M4 g; X1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.! S4 t( L& r3 ~* R3 c+ ?7 c( I: s8 q2 f
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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5 l2 J' M% d; w, P; }1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.$ V. ?+ z7 x7 E$ M4 N' s) I
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.6 t" A) S! x( G- n5 T
# r4 ], Z, r) o4 L5 d; t1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.& f. @" ?) b& A3 I
We do that.
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- ~2 P8 J1 V5 g4 M8 h: P) P( a4 ]7 R; g ^9 p1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
5 ?; E* y0 R$ k! d( WWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.- e* Q# j! b3 y7 _' I; x
* @2 b. B9 ? k# O8 ?1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.) E0 ^! a9 a0 K: c
0 Q: y5 W$ q' A8 F1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.8 G. s2 | q5 i6 z
8 B& t8 I, p* p8 T' a1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,' Z; h* T6 x6 e; m5 j" K) J3 d& ?1 ~
or golf.
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2 D) U9 ~% N2 h1. You have enough clothes.; @. K9 A3 B8 v% `
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!3 r% W5 J) {0 E4 ^* Y) |% n
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1. Thank you for reading this.) N0 x2 Q( e. T# \+ C/ s6 i
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& [, L# W. |8 F# r& S+ z% F- VBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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