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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"8 e6 d2 v& w- f- W2 K& V q0 ^- W9 q
From the female side.
3 H6 _* X# _5 w5 ]3 {Now here are the rules from the male side.
- D! h; T* K! q3 @% aThese are our rules!" {0 c2 }. a/ Q3 ~0 p( C2 a
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"1 L# U6 S+ M" c5 V* ~' D
ON PURPOSE!2 c t6 e6 n/ f* @1 v/ U
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat.2 y# ^2 A" ?1 c. ~% j7 ~, q6 Q) L
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.( P8 q. _. ~; i' }8 r. s
We need it up, you need it down.
- R! u( @2 v0 a2 K; BYou don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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. h+ e1 a/ `! J- L1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
" E$ [+ P' R d& sor the changing of the tides.
; U# u6 S S9 o! aLet it be.
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.+ v5 I! T& d) g/ [) S
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
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% k# d( z# k9 g% Q1. Crying is blackmail.8 C+ f, P- T. P- c$ h- n
5 u( b, p8 A* f& x9 D4 r0 x& E$ w1. Ask for what you want.
1 j( H( P% x6 u kLet us be clear on this one:7 Z0 X: O( M! j. F' d4 b8 E
Subtle hints do not work!# K8 H2 K L- S: U2 P0 P1 u
Strong hints do not work!
x" ]* }# ]2 mObvious hints do not work!
; y8 l x1 M" g9 c, T$ nJust say it!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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: ]( v2 l2 r# Z& n7 J1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
3 @- i" R1 C+ i. CSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.) o/ l, L: {# a4 P
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.0 h( V- Y( X6 e& @
8 v$ y9 s% S7 k- s. N; [" x1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.* u+ u7 C- B6 h k. f* e$ B
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
: f( @, O5 a, `$ LDon't ask us.3 B* n$ i: A7 d/ d1 [' \8 L1 v
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something0 w9 @' c, f/ {$ W' O( @
Or tell us how you want it done.
- g2 k- l! J# f% v$ YNot both.0 Z$ S: a( F- V& K
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.& j& |5 ^& m1 ~3 N) s+ D
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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# I8 y1 f7 {; r8 F) z4 `1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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, M$ L# [/ ]; c1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.0 J! i$ J: [. e$ _- z2 }: d
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.# Z' E; R! G# Z/ ?* o
4 @$ e- p% y8 m* P1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.8 E0 A. t( j( }7 b9 R: b7 j) F
We do that.! I* F1 ]1 J+ D0 W" `% q$ j
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.5 `1 A3 f2 O8 [2 q7 H
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. |: z# r" a% m" O1 H2 N
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.8 _6 i3 \3 q! [- a1 k% \& R
, ^7 ^6 m) D' ~0 Q0 l5 E# `+ s; c1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
$ U% s. ^2 O: i q0 Zor golf.
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# c ?1 `2 Z5 [7 b1 W, E1. You have enough clothes.# N, D5 |6 W9 z2 ?$ r
' D& j0 {4 h8 E6 S$ u: Z' j1. You have too many shoes.3 h' x" b# g& V
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.1 A3 H2 G8 x" b+ X
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1 p0 U6 c2 o# S+ SBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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