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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"
1 N3 L; V1 Z5 c* `# C4 y" XFrom the female side.
' l# a4 ~* }$ O+ |3 R2 i5 GNow here are the rules from the male side.
^8 n' U1 w/ D2 oThese are our rules!8 z w2 D, q t1 g" O: y5 L
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
, F2 Q N* { FON PURPOSE!
8 Z0 |6 e- a7 }* T3 A" ?- l1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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, I- m: p' p9 g8 V1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
+ r7 z& W& t; o' M( CYou're a big girl. If it's up, put it down." _6 T8 Y% b/ _9 C# D& E7 C* J# U
We need it up, you need it down.
( p% p7 r/ n# c+ Y9 \ @You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.6 p/ C: t* W7 W% z
- G3 A. p7 M2 V( C2 w1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
) H; j- r. i3 V9 a$ z3 ~) i. s) wor the changing of the tides." {2 E/ I/ e2 ]; {. r6 U' r
Let it be.
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
1 R! V! I/ q8 ~6 S& ^And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
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8 L2 g: w% j4 O7 R+ v1 l1. Crying is blackmail.( ^5 U$ q% H4 ^: P" A" w. y( G/ u
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1. Ask for what you want.
1 g+ `6 @+ h1 w2 X& [5 q/ M3 X3 m6 x2 yLet us be clear on this one:
! I5 d3 h9 d* @: e7 [' o$ vSubtle hints do not work!
( q0 C9 I3 x, D3 ]# ~# k% F* ~+ J0 |Strong hints do not work!8 ^5 t: f; f" S; F
Obvious hints do not work!5 U1 g3 Y' v4 n0 }$ D4 z9 ?) ]
Just say it!: ~) h' r8 K* U
$ j$ u5 G5 ^( L1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.; w- }. W1 i3 O: _0 C6 X
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.- r1 i4 M K. o. v- t0 a9 N
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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- n% [% a4 B. L5 A, P& L1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
, e5 ?, q6 B9 F& [$ f+ |7 cIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.+ |, Q( \6 m, n7 r- I$ {
4 O& v) c1 h5 B( D9 D1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.- B8 f; D- A- u
7 P0 u( R5 J% _: `, h6 o5 e1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.5 O3 e" G/ Z d7 S4 Q
Don't ask us.
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+ @+ x9 ]6 P& r- S1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something/ l2 u1 ]& m) h7 ]
Or tell us how you want it done.
+ k% |' i- K' E mNot both.
, x4 |* w7 x* w% g. z5 x# _If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
2 d9 m5 ?( R1 s7 h2 _0 d+ h5 [- w( w( T( B% U% M& l& {
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.7 Q1 E3 Z% O" n+ p9 ]3 q. ~
3 z- u, Y& A. L" @' Y+ @1 I$ A1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.# G! \( A! C, i3 m
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
' |$ F1 D+ }7 h; L, rPeach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.7 ~# w6 i( @1 u
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
/ [2 G# R0 Y5 ]! K' U6 YWe do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
( @# j# H8 c7 V; B' i. W' qWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.( Z6 u$ D5 O: E) S+ }( V1 G8 h7 [5 D
$ L. f9 w, x& I' N1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.2 j# y8 q1 r# z% p
6 h, J$ u8 e+ h2 M1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,' j1 b6 ]8 Q6 ]4 V: G2 W+ i
or golf.! h1 U& ]5 m5 Q, O9 U4 R) G
- S0 j1 x8 ^& a! a/ t# q. C0 o& d1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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% `4 J* P! v: y5 @4 B1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!3 z1 I' O9 C6 c2 W4 p! Y0 {
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1. Thank you for reading this., n& a' r2 G1 h" T! O$ C' R5 I% s7 j
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But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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