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We always hear "the rules"- l$ l+ s$ o) N- u3 r. k
From the female side.2 ]- G. ~( t7 Y+ R: ]
Now here are the rules from the male side.
* S3 o' K! ?" CThese are our rules!
& x5 |9 f) D+ T& o5 S8 m; f" V& rPlease note.. these are all numbered "1"8 m8 ^5 g: j: m( n9 A
ON PURPOSE!
6 g! t2 |; L) o1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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" |- {* n: P c) ]5 D# {0 k8 `1. Learn to work the toilet seat.8 p N4 v8 W( H8 w
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
- N4 _* H$ H8 e. h& ?We need it up, you need it down." W8 ^. t; K {: B6 G0 t
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.7 D& E9 X$ Y4 l4 N( S3 C# S$ Q
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
4 t: D7 b2 J) [8 [or the changing of the tides.
4 ~& `7 {* f: t& w+ v! SLet it be.
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
6 f3 _; o) i m7 I- W& p8 ?And no, we are never going to think of it that way.! A+ s2 P" M( a9 ]) X% ^$ n
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1. Crying is blackmail. @9 r/ j# j) p+ d+ U) D& H. E/ t
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1. Ask for what you want.' E2 B Y" e) ^
Let us be clear on this one:7 w0 o3 J& }6 U
Subtle hints do not work!
# i, q1 T0 W; G% E& |Strong hints do not work!. i$ ^' ^7 V$ M
Obvious hints do not work!
. h0 I) w( B- _; H( k* XJust say it!0 K0 |8 q- ]0 m6 B8 ^* U& V. ]. n6 Y$ S
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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O; A! h$ H# R0 I) G K4 \1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.) p w; k' `* _9 L$ z+ o
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.- f$ Y. B# P8 V& v* }. {1 r
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
: M5 J3 m; [5 E* I- U2 OIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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$ L/ v# ]8 h6 ^$ t( m1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
: Z: H6 r. n t9 H; LDon't ask us.8 Q: q* K; j# N. [; W4 Z6 u
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something
. [7 H/ M, ^$ l6 qOr tell us how you want it done.
3 I& w. u" U& s! mNot both.0 H4 D. V/ l0 e- {4 }: u
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself./ y/ g, z8 y5 `3 ~4 o! D$ Z* ~
( s# a$ p G; I2 Y" u0 l1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.0 {# t/ _$ x2 D0 ?
2 P4 ~7 R+ C1 H. ~7 X& m8 l7 `1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.1 _# z4 q4 O3 v
# { ]6 x2 [, s. H. h. K1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
1 N0 L/ I3 w. _" T2 c; WPeach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
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% y, c( M8 O& N W% [1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
4 i4 p/ n; J+ w# A1 z; s. h1 [9 aWe do that.# V! i! ?' Q! v( Q/ \! Z
5 U( N6 |4 T* Z% U: [, _1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
$ }& M% V+ ] j: C. CWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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# c7 v# d8 |8 Q1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,0 n; F. A. N+ E& j; @; |& u0 n8 W* F
or golf.% D$ H8 B1 ~2 i c8 M3 u6 u
1 a" a* U- G0 o& K. ]1. You have enough clothes.
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2 d% A" _. D6 y0 @# I' Q' A1. You have too many shoes.
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% ^/ _" w5 a7 T1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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) `4 z6 h, m* |5 k5 z1. Thank you for reading this.
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But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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