还是英语笑话，开心一笑吧。

哥顿国际英语

5 h- i% C& w' C4 V/ T% ^4 T$ O" z
But the teacher cried
7 F. ^% B- E$ ^; y$ U* o7 Y　　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
; w$ u0 k! ]2 }0 o: [& }' K" l
　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
# j1 x6 n) E% M) R4 l
　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
; Y2 S/ ~# p. w3 V# Y/ C2 T
0 f$ P2 }7 w  z+ u: F9 m　　可是老师哭了
# ?5 Q& p" J; b; ^9 R! D6 |" I
3 y$ ^+ o, y' z' w, W1 J0 a9 |　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”
8 s7 m% ?$ }2 p* P; D. l
　　“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

3 d/ `  H7 O& C鸡过河

    thief小偷stole偷了一只鸡,正在river河边给鸡拔feathers毛,这时一个policeman警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡threw扔到了river里.

% J. N" K) q! h! j/ W6 t    policeman问:"你在doing干什么?river里是what什么东西?"
5 r' \7 t4 H* H7 A5 [
    thief说:"那是一只鸡,它要cross过河去,我在这里帮它watching看衣服."

分工

0 \' T7 b* v0 ]    老李sat坐在家门口乘cool凉,看着freeway高速公路从village村里的field田里穿过,气势spectacular壮观. 一会他看见开过来一辆lorry车,在freeway边停下, 下来一个人,在freeway边dug挖了一个hole坑,然后回到车里. 过了a while一会,车上下来另一个人,把hole又填上了. 车子向前走了一段distance距离,那个人又下来dug了个hole,过一会,又是另一个人把hole填上,就这样,车子每走一段distance,就重复一次dug a hole,休息,填hole……老李十分puzzled迷惑. 他忍不住跑过去问道:"你们在doing什么?" 两个人answered回答道:"我们三个在carrying out进行一项绿化freeway的project计划,今天responsible for负责栽树的那人fell ill病了!"

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

1 a$ U6 r) M% m- h) @# Q
5 V) V$ X9 P5 w* AA: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
+ W8 J: u1 M! B  I& a
  |) c6 c8 e8 X3 T" Y+ {
0 S- A6 u" H8 q. V+ c1 g猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？


Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
% A4 p; }0 }" }! n
; H2 [# l0 I) u9 x4 G
# B! m, H5 g' Q! Z& N' BA: By treading on his corn?
. W( r1 f+ U& Q- q, Q5 q

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
  w& J9 G" W; T. k" C# @2 ^
7 H* W5 f2 i* y3 c' {
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

' `4 {# w3 D: O" p5 f. j3 i
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
1 _7 {; G* F& ?4 T3 M3 e
; n$ L! C2 K& n
5 ]" k; Z* F( p2 [7 a! a因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

0 T1 ]8 z5 V7 n$ s+ @6 H   存钱
8 h4 f. O  w1 K! K8 ]. H    姐姐在bank银行里works工作。一天，有个young年轻男人走到她的counter柜台前，悄voice声对她说：「请你把这一千块钱存入我的account户头。」她照办之後，也悄声answered说「这是你的bankbook存折，goodbye再见。」那young 人开始转身离去，但随即又折回来。「我很sorry抱歉我们得悄voice声说话，」他说，「不过，我的car汽车就停在外面，要是它听到我有extra余钱，它会又出毛病了。」他把finger手指放在lips嘴唇上，踮著tiptoes脚尖走出bank。

哥顿国际英语